Not just a theory...

You've probably heard people suggest that homophobia is an individual's attempt at hiding, denying, or repressing his or her own homosexual urges. In 1996, a group of psychologists at the University of Georgia decided to actually test it out.* They tested 64 white male volunteers using the Kinsey Scale, which shows how gay you are on a scale of 1 to 7 chose only those that identified as completely heterosexual in their arousal and experiences. They also tested the men with an Index of Homophobia, which rated them on how much anxiety they admitted to experiencing at the thought of being in a room with a group of gay people, among other things.

For step two of the experiment, they put each individual in a soundproof room alone where he attached an instrument to himself that measured changes in the circumference of his penis. In this room, with this instrument attached, they each man viewed three videos showing foreplay, oral sex, and anal and vaginal penetration. Each video was four minutes long, one showing heterosexual sex, one gay sex, and one lesbian sex. They used the lesbian sex video as a way to gauge the individual's level of homosexuality, as lesbian sex is known to be very arousing to straight men. They supposed that if the men were truly heterosexual and not just in the closet, they would show a high level of arousal after the lesbian video. Before starting a new video, the men's penises were allowed to return to their normal size. After each video, they were asked to record their level of psychological and physical arousal.

The study found that in the group of homophobic men, there was a significant increase in penis circumference after watching the homosexual sex video. In the nonhomophobic men, there was no increase after the homosexual sex video. They also noted that the homophobic men recorded low levels of arousal even though their erections indicated otherwise. Thus, they were not very willing to admit that they were turned on even though the data indicated that they were.

The study clearly shows that homophobia is a result of fear of one's own repressed homosexuality, at least in men. It's not just speculation any more.

*I'm pretty sure that the link to the actual article only works if you're on the Wheaton campus. If the link doesn't work, here's the citation:

Adams, H.E., Wright, L.W., Jr., and Lohr, B. "Is Homophobia Associated With Homosexual Arousal?" The Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 105(3), 440-445.

Trying To Let Go and Be Free

The First Noble Truth in Buddhism states that suffering is a part of life. The Second Noble Truth says that this suffering is a result of desire. As Lama Surya Das writes in Awakening the Buddha Within, "we crave satisfaction in ways that are inherently dissatisfying." This is because we become attached to people and to things, and everything in the world is impermanent. We don't know what we'd do without cell phones and iPods and laptops and become angry when these things break. We love our family and our friends and we have deep romantic relationships with other people. When a family member dies, a friend moves away, or we are going through a breakup, we hurt. Sometimes this pain is so bad that it can put us into a depression and we start to become consumed by negative thoughts. We may get stuck in such a negative place that we do not know how to get out.

The Third Noble Truth gives us hope, in that we can find freedom from suffering. The Fourth Noble Truth offers a solution, in the form of the Eightfold Path: right view, right intentions, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. We can use these things to free ourselves from the desires that lead to suffering.

I am writing this because at this point in my life I am experiencing suffering because of an attachment to a person and to a friendship that I may have permanently lost. I will be the first to admit that although I believe in these truths, they are very difficult to actually live by. It is very hard for me to imagine myself being able to completely separate myself from desire because I love the people in my life a lot. But somehow recognizing where my suffering right now is coming from and trying to let go as much as I can help a little.


"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection"

-The Buddha

A reminder to myself and all of my friends...