Maybe this could be considered a really small almost sort of enlightenment experience?

Tonight I was chatting online with a friend. We were catching up as she lives across the country and I haven't really spoken with her in months. She's been through a lot of really rough things these past few years that I've known her, and now has something profoundly beautiful in her life to feel happy about. At the time it didn't feel out of the ordinary for me at all, but looking back on it I realize that I felt almost as happy as if I was her, at a moment in my life when many other people would have felt jealous and/or resentful in the same place. We all know that at times over instant messages, we use phrases like LOL, LMAO, ROFL, and the different emoticons when in reality we are just sitting and staring at our screen, maybe cracking a slight smile. But this time, I was literally laughing out loud at certain things and smiling because I honestly felt like I found money on the street or ran into a celebrity while I was out running errands or something.

And all of a sudden, I thought to myself how glad I am that this is me, that I am the kind of person who can feel these things in response to someone else's happiness at events that have no effect on my life whastoever. For this to come at a time when I have been feeling discouraged and just really low about myself is amazing. It was as if the negative things I was feeling about myself were clouds that were parting to let the sun of who I truly am shine through. I feel as though I've never seen myself in this way before.

I know that was really cheesy, and I don't know what else to say or even where I'm going with this. I guess I just wanted to record the event. It's a pretty big deal to get to this point for me. I'm seeing certain things more clearly and loving myself more as a result of it.